In my time writing on this blog, I have been able to cover some pretty ridiculous Christian products. There was the confession app, then the ridiculously over-priced Jesus sneakers, and after that the eRosary. Ugh...
Well, we have something new to grumble at now. "I am Jesus Christ" is a video game that was just announced last week on Steam.
The game, which looks like it has the graphics of a video game from 2002, gives the player the chance to play through the life of Jesus as portrayed in the Gospels.
You get to heal the blind, cast out demons, multiply fish and so on. You know, standard Jesus stuff.
The description on Steam describes the game as: "a realistic simulator game inspired by stories from the New Testament of the Bible. Get into old times and follow the same path of Jesus Christ 2,000 years ago."
Realistic... right. Sure. Everyone knows how easy it is to multiply fish in a basket. That is very realistic.
The description of the game continues, "Check if you can perform all famous miracles from the Bible like Jesus Christ. It is a simulation game and you can try to save the world as He did. Are you ready to fight with Satan in the desert, exorcising demons and curing sick people? Or calm the storm in the sea?"
Ignore the fact that it seems clear that the person who typed that is not a native English speaker (the publisher looks to be based in Poland). The game essentially just takes you through a bastardized version of Jesus's story in the Gospels.
I say "bastardized" because if you are familiar with the Gospels, you know that the four stories have some serious contradictions with one another. As an example, according to the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus was taken to Egypt after his birth to hide him from Herod's wrath, but if you read the Gospel of Luke his family took him straight back to Nazareth.
So obviously this game has to do some smoothing of Jesus's story, although that is nothing new. If you have ever seen a nativity play, then you know how good Christians are at smoothing over the rougher contradictions in Jesus's story.
In any case, the game is set to be "released soon." I do not plan on playing it, but hey, if enough of you are curious, reach out to us on Facebook and maybe I will do a review. Fan support has been a huge driver of what we do here and I would be more than willing to check out this ridiculous game if there is enough interest from our fans.